Funny Funny Mother

 

(not my mother)

Growing up one of our family traditions was to read or perform a story on Christmas eve.  We all knew that at the end mother would read the scripture story of the birth of the Christ child.One year we (don't know who we'll blame, probably me since I am the oldest) came upon this funny poem.  My dad laughed so hard!  Mother didn't seem to mind the poem so much as she didn't really SEE the similarities between her and the Mother in the poem.  She didn't but we did!

Now years later (and I do mean YEARS, like 40) as I read this poem and I have to say:

Funny Funny Mother



See Mother.See Mother laugh.
Mother is happy.
Mother is happy about Christmas.
Mother has many plans.
Mother has many plans for Christmas.
Mother is organized.
Mother smiles all the time.
Funny, funny Mother!



See Mother.
See Mother smile.
Mother is happy.
The shopping is all done.
See the children watch TV.
Watch children, watch.
See the children change their minds.
See them ask Santa for different toys.
Look!  Look!
Mother is not smiling.
Funny, funny Mother!



See Mother.
See Mother sew.
Mother will make dresses.
Mother will make robes.
Mother will make shirts.
See Mother put the zipper in wrong.
See Mother sew the dress on the wrong side.
See Mother cut the skirt too short.
See Mother
put the materials away until January.
Look!  Look!
See Mother take a tranquilizer.
Funny, funny Mother!



See Mother.
See Mother buy raisins and nuts.
See Mother buy candied pineapple
and powdered sugar.
See Mother buy flour, dates, pecans,
brown sugar, bananas and spices.
Look!  Look!
Mother is mixing everything together.
See the children press out cookies.
See the flour on their elbows.
See the cookies burn.
See the cake fall.
See the children pull taffy.
See Mother pull her hair.
See Mother clean the kitchen
with the garden hose.
Funny, funny Mother!



See Mother.
See Mother wrap presents.
See Mother look for the end
on the Scotch tape roll.
See Mother bite her fingernails.
See Mother go.
See Mother go to the store
ten times in one hour.
Go Mother, go.
See Mother go faster.
Run, Mother, run!



See Mother trim the tree.
See Mother have a party.
See Mother make popcorn.
See Mother wash the walls.
See Mother scrub the rug.
See Mother tear up organized plan.
See Mother forget gift for Uncle Harold.
See Mother get hives.
Go, Mother, go!
See the faraway look in Mother's eyes.
Mother has become disorganized.
Mother has become disoriented.
Funny, funny Mother!



It is finally Christmas morning.
See the happy family.
See Father smile.
Father is happy.
Smile, Father, smile.
Father loves fruitcake.
Father loves Christmas pudding.
Father loves all his new neckties.
Look!  Look!
See the happy children.
See the children's new toys.
Santa was very good to the children.
The children will remember this Christmas.



See Mother.
Mother is slumped in a chair.
Mother is crying uncontrollably.
Mother does not look well.
Mother has ugly dark circles
under her bloodshot eyes.
Everyone helps Mother to her bed.
See Mother sleep quietly
under heavy sedation.
See Mother smile.
Funny, funny Mother!
~ Sandra Gilbert ~