Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Guest poster- Mr. Produce

Mr Produce here.
My wife says I have a million great stories that need to be told. Well I don't know about stories but I have questions. Since we are all friends here I'll consider you all normal. So I need to ask you normal people some questions all about the Norm
--Is it normal to go to the grocery store and eat a handful of cherries and then PUT THE PITS right back in the cherry bags on the table for sale?
--Is it normal to not want to buy the whole cauliflower so you hunt down the grocery guy and have him cut it in thirds where you look it over carefully and just buy a third of a cauliflower?
--Is it normal to ask the grocery guy to pick out mushrooms for a recipe that you have at home?
--Is it normal to tell the grocery guy that he DOESN'T know how to pick out a ripe avocado because he is not from California... SOUTHERN California to be exact, (obviously a northern California person does not know how to pick a ripe avocado).

My wife says that most people do NOT complain to the grocery guy that the prices are too high. Is that true?? Is there a store where the customers would come and go without complaining to me personally about the prices at all the stores in town?

I really need to know. And if I get enough response... I'll tell you all sorts of funny stories from the produce department (like the guy that hunted me down to let me know that the lock to the men's bathroom doesn't work. What fruit or vegetable would you use to fix that?
Or the knock down fights that happen at the back dumpster between several older (70+ year olds) fighting over the moldy day old produce for their chickens and livestock.

Thanks in advance for your normal answers.

8 Wonderful People Who Commented:

Sue said...

In answer to your query, Mr. Produce, these people are NOT normal. But then, neither am I. (In different ways, though...)


Anonymous said...

I have always said the that everyone should have to work in a grocery store, especially the produce or meat department. If they did some if not all would change their habits while picking out their produce and meat. I have worked in both and I feel for you.

Many years ago my step-dad would go down the produce aisle every time he went in the grocery store, grab a handful of grapes and eat them while he was getting what he went to the grocery store to purchase. He enjoyed the grapes and assumed no one would ever know he was eating grapes while shopping.

He continued this pattern for several weeks and then one day he walked in the store, grabbed his handful of grapes and was confronted with the produce manager who handed him a bill for the grapes he had eaten over the past several weeks. He paid the bill and to my knowledge never took any more grapes when he was in a grocery store.

Keep hanging in there, it is hard to find a good produce man. Hugs

Lauren DC said...

lol--- this post made me laugh so much! poor mr produce.
seriously, though... normal people do not do these things!
i do admit to sneaking a grape or cherry to see if i want to buy some (because lets face it, sometimes the grapes are sour/cherries bitter-- usually at walmart haha) but i would never put the pits back in the bag--- gross!!

carmen said...

Define "Normal". I don't think I'm "normal" but I definitely would not eat cherries and put the pits back in the bag - at least not until I paid for them, and then I would have a "spitting contest" with the pits with my little boys - but not in the grocery store. I would at least wait until I was outside the store. Thanks for the funny post, Mr. Produce.

De Hutch said...

Oh the Human population in the customer service aspect. No Mr Grocer but I would love to hear some stories as the brief comments you have made already make a great blog post.. IMAGINE a whole blog based upon the stories of a grocer.. Im good to mine... Always saying please and thank you. Of course.. I'm horrible at picking out fruit much less an avocado.. :-D

Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

Oh, I would PAY to see the senior citizens fight over old produce!! That sounds disturbing!! Your stories sound like they'd be a hoot, please tell us more!!

kieri said...

SO funny. I love your grocery store stories about not-so-normal people. I hope you write them up. OH! and don't forget to add your hilarious nicknames :)

Cat Nap Inn Primitives said...

holy cow I have heard it all..I can't believe some of the things you told me..i sometimes feel guilty tasting one grape to see if they are ripe..I do remember growing up with "squeezing the charmin" and asking one of the folks that worked there if I could squeeze the charmin..;)I can't wait to hear more of your stories...:)oh and can you tell me how to pick the sweetest watermelon..;)